PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
* or *
How I Found Goddess
And What I Did To Her
When I Found Her
THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER
Wherein Is Explained
Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing
About Absolutely Anything
Published By:
LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED
PO BOX 1197
Port Townsend, WA 98368
$5.00(cheap)
Catalogs:$2.00
Transcribed to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society
Cabal of the Unemployed
mpython@wpi.wpi.edu
mpython@*.gnu.ai.mit.edu
{calendar entered by /AHM/THX }
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INTRODUCTION
You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord.
Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical
huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively
and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great
essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum
almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.
In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In
1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the
identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept
across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St.
Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No,said another legend
-- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very
intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon,
who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity.
I enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was
also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually
written the whole thing myself during an acid trip.
The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's,
thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were
talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by
then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there.
When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob
Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the
quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several
chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies,
asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others
wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way
H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our
moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful
lies and myths we could devise fnord.
Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus
immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet
discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage
the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote
to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told
them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case
I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence --
vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius.
Now, at last, the truth can be told.
Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling
anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us
as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory
Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic
poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the
mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great
Seal of the United States.
I have it on good authority that he is one of the most
accomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many
times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias,
Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc.
Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts
to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman
and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal
origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a
time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could
observe us without his presense causing cultureshock.
I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to
this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but
don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan
put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the
branches of guerilla ontology.
For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in
conjunction with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press,
Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or
Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here",
as Ken Kesey used to say.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they
always have, getting weirder all the time.
Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?
-Robert Anton Wilson
International Arms and Hashish Inc.
Darra Bazar, Kohat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A jug of wine,
A leg of lamb
And thou!
Beside me,
Whistling in
the darkness.
Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...
- The Book of Uterus 1;5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE
GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST
AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT &
POPE POOP.
GREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness
humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.
GP: Maybe you are just crazy.
M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The
reason that I am crazy is because they are true.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.
GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To dissolve them.
GP: Will you develop that point?
M2: No.
GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the
meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question
is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136
Principia Discordia
or
How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her
When I found Her
being a Beginning Introduction to
The Erisian Mysterees
Which is Most Interesting
-><-
as Divinely Revealed to
My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and HIGH PRIEST of
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)
HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
Dedicated to The Prettiest One
The Upstart of one hand clapping
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -
Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee
POEE
is one manifestation of
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
about which
you will learn more
and understand
less
We
are a tribe
of philosophers, theologians,
magicians, scientists,
artists, clowns,
and similar maniacs
who are intrigued
with
ERIS
GODDESS OF CONFUSION
and with
Her
Doings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Tell You: One must
still have chaos in one
to give birth to a
dancing star!
-Nietzsche
THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)
The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year
of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun
deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a
mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he
discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing
it upside down.
KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no
Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And
every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering
System.
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone &
Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to
Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom
(no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat
of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog
Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of
Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads.
IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE
TRANSGRESSICUTED.
Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If
they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A ZEN STORY
by Camden Benares, The Count of Five
Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal
A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing.
He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords
that troubled him, but he remained troubled.
One night in a coffee house, a
self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will
find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those
who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go
to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position
on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate."
He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was
frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the resr of the
plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes
and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon
rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through
the room said about him.
His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as
if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that
time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man
was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others
say he is a shithead."
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Western Union Telegram
To: Jehova Yahweh
Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential Tier, Paradise
Dear God;
This is to inform you that your current position as diety is herewith
terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP
Please do not use me for a reference
Respectfully,
Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock
together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while
elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains.
11. Indeed do many things come to pass.
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
- THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT -
THE REVELATION
Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was
alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as
a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a
second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late
nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant....
Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and
Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at
an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This
particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were
complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their
respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other
problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the
roots of all confusion."
FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU
WITH FAIRY DUST
Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped
them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense
light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.
The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes.
They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a
variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored
to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The
two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The
condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.
There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle,
yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He
carried a scroll and walked to the young men.
"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit?
Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what,
pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused.
"SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!"
And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with
a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and
the two lost consciousness.
ERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION
They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers
engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was
apparant that their experience had been private.
They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory
the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to
find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only
references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until
they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient
Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was
on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of
a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity
itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes.
Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested
and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:
I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness
left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development
approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.
You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your
vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is
bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.
I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build
rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy
anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.
During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and
learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being
disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered
equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all
screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found
that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the
principle of order.
With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a
meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:
It is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will
find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the
pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they
choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND
THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of
Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.
"What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The
Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!"
And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar
began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was
hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with
tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own
madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia,
for what ever that may turn out to be.
"There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a
trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true."
-Neils Bohr
"Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?"
"But there is no house next door."
"No? Then let's go build one!"
-MARX
Fnords ->Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,
Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord
Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
St. Trinian's
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE
Sewing Circle
THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY
by Lord Omar
VERSE
Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;
It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;
Her Apple Corps is strong!
CHORUS
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Her Apple Corps is strong!
VERSE
She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is strong!
* "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks
"Ol' Limb' Peak."
If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?
"The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses"
-Gen. Geo. A. Custer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People in a Position to Know, Inc.
ON PRAYER
Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He
replied with these words:
No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has
listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a
drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village
wiped out in a torrential flood.
"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill"
(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is
Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything,
as you hurry along the Path.
THE PURPLE SAGE
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
Heaven is down. Hell is up.
This is proven by the fact
that the planets and stars
are orderly in their
movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS
while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown
we come close to the
primal chaos.
There are four other
proofs,
but I forget them.
-Josh the Dill
King Kong Kabal
IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE
TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.
DO NOT CIRCULATE!
What We Know About ERIS (not much)
The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque
woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and
torn, and women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their
bosoms.
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the
twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of
Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both),
and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom,
Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies,
and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.
One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created
all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old
Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were,"
She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."
Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is
mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.
*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you
have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost
as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal
Gland"
DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS
-Horace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE INSIDE STORY!
The Law of Fives
the Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first
revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from
The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus.
POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also
recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai
Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of
Bavaria.
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR
ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR
INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.
The Law of Fives is never wrong.
In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the
Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look."
Please do not use this
document as toilet tissue
The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun
shines by day because, being a woman, it
is afraid to venture out at night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it
does big things badly, does small things badly too."
- John Kenneth Galbraith
THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD
It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and
Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a
trouble maker.*
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold**
and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of
the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and
joyously partake of a hot dog.
Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite,
each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription.
And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the
place and everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must
be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them
to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot
of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried
to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great
Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a
healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she
got the apple and he got screwed.
As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris
could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus,King of
Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta
demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First
War among men.
And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian
is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
Do you believe that?
-------------------------------------
* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of
metalic gold or acapulco.
*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law
of Fives.
REMEMBER:
KING
KONG
DIED FOR
YOUR SINS
Ho Chi Zen
is
King Cong
5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We
Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal
Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or
Unbalanced Balance.
6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which
Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance,or
Stagnation, is attained.
7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition
back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth,
finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.
HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do You Remember?
1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______ of _____.
An Erisian Hymn
by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB
Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS
Onwards Christian Soldiers,
Onwards Buddhist Priests.
Onward, Fruits of Islam,
Fight till you're deceased.
Fight your little battles.
Join in thickest fray;
For the Greater Glory,
of Dis-cord-i-a.
Yah, yah, yah,
Yah, yah, yah, yah.
Blfffffffffffft!
Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose,has been
exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has
been doing all this nose swallowing.
Heute Die Welt
Morgens das Sonnensystem!
Abbey of the Barbarous Relic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Official Proclamation -- ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3135
--------------------------------------------------
POEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX
V) The House of Apostle of ERIS
For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia
A. The Five Apostles of ERIS
B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC)
C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society
D. POEE Cabal Priests
E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages
IV) The House of the Rising Podge
for the Disciples of Discordia
A. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather
B. Council of POEE Priests
C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD
D. Eristic Avatars
E. Aneristic Avatars
III) The House of the Rising Hodge
For the Bureaucracy
A. the Bureau of Erisian Archives
B. the Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas
C. The Bureau of Symbols,Emblems, Certificates and Such
D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened
Eristic Horde
E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of
Discordia
II) The House of the Rising Collapse
For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Discouragement
of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton
A. The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity
B. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance
C. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages
D. The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast
E. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit
I) The Out House
For what is left over
A. Miscellaneous Avatars
B. The Fifth Column
C. POEE =POPES= everywhere
D. Drawer "O" for OUT OF FILE
E. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths
-><- OFFICIAL - POEE
Head Temple, San Francisco
HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE
Bureau of The POEE Epistolary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
= THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS =
The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any
similar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON
POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated
or simplified as desired.
The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly
shortened to THE HAND.
\ /
-----><-----
/ \
NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns,
especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered
Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the
"horns" are supported by another set, of inverted "horns". Or maybe it is
walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth.
"Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind
and all that resembles it"
-Breton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-><- POEE -><-
POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF
ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent
deity,reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that
nobody pays much attention to us.
MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of
POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He
is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold].
The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society,
which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and
spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.
POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal
gland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.
POEE has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State,
and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only
fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.
POEE has 5 DEGREES:
There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE.
The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on.
An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN.
The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather.
And POEE =POPE=.
POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian
Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER
ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=.
" This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out."
-Lichtenberg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Application For Membership
In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY
1. Today's date Yesterday's Date
2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord
b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above
f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC!
3. Name_________________________ Holy Name________________
Address_____________________________________________________________
(If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded)
4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height:
..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason:
Race: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300
5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th
Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from which
you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled "confidential"
list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24
hours
6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits
I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat
caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because ..........
I have ceased raping little children []yes []no -- reason ..........
7. Self Portrait
Rev. Mungo
For Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned
LICK HERE!!!
*
(You may be one
of the lucky 25)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-><-
POEE & It's Priests
If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may
wish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of
POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what you think it is.
The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect
good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once
in a while, he even listens.
Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially
different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans
for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from
scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they
are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that
Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the
section "Discordian Society"
ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST
There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to
be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know
better than you whether or not you should be Ordained?
An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an
Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather."
Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise
And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise!
Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know
What's in a Chao and why it ain't so!
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
World Council of Churches Boutique
Note to POEE Priests:
The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a
commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when
seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market
place.
The Hidden stone ripens fast,
then laid bare like a turnip
can easily be cut out at last
but even then the danger isn't past.
That man lives best who's fain
to live half mad, half sane.
-Flemish Poet Jan Van
Stijevoort, 1524.
The Erisian Affirmation
BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a
POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD.
HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods
Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow;
POEE Holy Cow, and
Wholly Chao
-Rev. Dr. Grindlebone
Monroe Cabal
"common sense is what tells you that the world is flat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from
ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach
_______________________________________________________________________________
Legion of Dynamic Discord
HARK
RECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY -- doth hereby certify
As a Legionnaire
Glory to We Children of ERIS
Presented under the auspices
of our Lady of Discord, ERIS
by the House of the Apostles
of ERIS.
-><-
_______________________________________________________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO START A POEE CABAL
WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER
If you can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want anything to
do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do
Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank
will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the
same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Certificate.
The words you are now reading are your ordination.
HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN
1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies.
2. Sign and nose-print each copy.
3. Send one to the President of the United States.
4. Send one to
The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding
1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814
5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other.
Then consult your pineal gland.
General License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander
~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~
When in Doubt, Fuck it.
When not in Doubt... get in Doubt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trip 5!
= The POEE Baptismal Rite =
This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many
POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.
1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate
in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate
right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally
naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in
disguise like a cabbage or something.
2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume
a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four
more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.
3) The Priest begins:
I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations,
offices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris
Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office
of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do
herewith Require of Ye:
1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate
answers YES.
2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers
YES.
3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?
He answers YES.
4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?
The Initiate answers PROBABLY.
5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME:
(The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)
The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name),
LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!
4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and
offers it to all who are present.
5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.
Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.
DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP
3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were
both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards
designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him
as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y' know.
HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2
Answers:
1. Harry Houdini
2. Swing Music
3. Pretzels
4. 8 months
5. Testy Culbert
6. It protrudes.
7. No vocal cords
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH G3400
50
The Initiate swears the following: DMTS
19
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!
(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to
substitute the German:
FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!
or perhaps
WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!!
which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)
THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE,
CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR.
MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF
'44.
Corrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the
New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but
mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.
"This statement is false"
(courtesy of POEE)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME!
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
The Discordian Society has no definition.
I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been
called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of
Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's
Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as
a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of
it any way you like.
AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The
Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they
like what he says.
THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD:
A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own
sect.
If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't.
There are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes
The Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal.
Some work together.
Some never do explain.
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top
of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go
for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see
you again! Helter Skelter!
-John Lennon
"Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady Mal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS
The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred
Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names.
It says little,
does less,
means
nothing.
* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We
thought of it first.
- The Numeral V sign -
Used by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies
everywhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR
Seasons
1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung
2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo
3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti
4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud
5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse
Days of the Week* * The DAYS OF THE WEEK
1) Sweetmorn are named from the five Basic Elements:
2) Boomtime SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE
3) Pungenday
4) Prickle-Prickle
5) Setting Orange
HOLYDAYS
A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS
1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux
2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux
3) Syaday 3) Confuflux
4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux
5) Maladay 5) Afflux
Each occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th
day of the Season day of each Season
C) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted
between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos
SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Jan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn
6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49
11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54
16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59
21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64
26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69
31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy
Feb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6
10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11
15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16
20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21
25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26
Mar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31
7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36
12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41
17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46
22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51
27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56
Apr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61
6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66
11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71
16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm
21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8
26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13
May 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18
6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23
11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28
16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33
21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38
26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43
31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48
Jun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73
30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157][Next St. Tibs Day in 3158]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLY NAMES
Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not
unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son
of Mr. and Mrs. VI?
Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return
it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BEARER OF THIS CARD
IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED
~ POPE ~
So please Treat Him Right
GOOD FOREVER
Genuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope
Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San Francisco
A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For Your Enlightenment
THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA
by
Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P.
POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal
When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into
the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his
endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the
night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let
it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's
intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his
weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical
labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of
that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter
tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside
intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring
and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to
exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the
voice.
And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and
Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.
"The Five Laws have root in awareness."
--Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in
it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on
the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the
Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards
the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord!
Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden
from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain.
Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with
injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers
imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left
The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS
=THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE =
1. HUNG MUNG
A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen
Chinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of
Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.
2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO
A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo
and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod
Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian
Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19.
[NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that
Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second
Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends
only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is
the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to
subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.
3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA
SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly
called just SRI SYADASTI
His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false
in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true
and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true
and false and meaningless in some sense.
He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle
Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type
Discordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri
Syadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not
the same person but is the same Apostle.
4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH
A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed
"Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season
of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12
5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE
A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle earth), who
followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad,
Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read "DOOM". (This is
a misunderstanding. The sign actually read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.)
Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday:
Oct 24.
All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some
sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false
and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some
sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual
Wisdom, Wilmette.
The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual
Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense,
true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and
meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's drunk.
THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH
being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement
and How it was Revealed to
Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose
of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of
the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus,
Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch
From the Honest Book of Truth
THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1
1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger
of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an
Honest Book.
2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the
Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and,
spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and ,lying
in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an
Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of
Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and
five nights, but found no book.
4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass
that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded
himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had
uncovered on the first day of his labors.
5. Omar slept.
6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and
there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the
Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein
was hidden a Golden Chest.
7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the
Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and,
sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in
the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an
Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit,man?
What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration
of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods
when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better
wages?
9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground
by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights.
10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his
Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a
Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box
containing many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands
around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon
others nothing was written.
11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of
Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and
Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from
it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONVENTIONAL CHAOS
GREYFACE
In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of
Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as
he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted
the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he
said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was
a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.
It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that
particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the
disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway,
Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more
seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy
other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.
The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been
suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes
frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man
has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
Bullshit makes the flowers
grow & that's beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Climb into the Chao with a friend or two
And follow the Way it carries you,
Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew
Over the Waves in whatever you do.
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3)
[graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat...
DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"*
THE BOOK OF UTERUS
from the Honest Book of Truth
revealed to Lord Omar
1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the
Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge.
2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to
overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be.
3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion
by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge.
4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly
underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose.
5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation
of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion
- that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of
Thud.
6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of
Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of
Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao.
7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called
Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence
called Discordia.
8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished
in a paper shortage.
9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws.
10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the
Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and
reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and
Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the
Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a
Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS!
11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself
Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen.
____________________________
* This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY #6, "HISTORIC
CYCLES," which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first
three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and
the last two ("the Bicycle") of which are CONSTERNATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE.
** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then
the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that
in which it did not happen.
Dull but Sincere Filler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation
of Disorder!"
[H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]
THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("THEM")
Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding
The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early
disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over
emphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary
compliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all
hung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the
Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia.
But we know.
1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all
the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world.
2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for
lawmakers, censors, and like ilk.
3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools
and universities, and dominate many of them.
4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is
mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political,
academic and sacred Orders.
5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L.,
but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself.
It is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches
in the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and
passing them off as human beings.
A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of
the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment-- just as long as it
is a flag.
Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton.
HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4
Go To Your Left-Right....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS
ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST
The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy.
Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes
from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally--
that the universe, by its nature, is "running down", moving toward a state of
inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation.
That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is
overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order.
The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed
in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral
formulation in all human thought.
It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an
isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which
draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the
opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing.
The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current
are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in
a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order.
IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT!
-Rev. Thomas, Gnostic
N.Y.C. Cabal
Personal
PLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship
existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts
unknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth's circumference
24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth.
This is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet
considered earth's atmosphere. So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston
"I should have been a plumber."
--Albert Einstein
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken"
-Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect
= ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT =
Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great
delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers.
One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he
confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.
"Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice,
"why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?"
Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".*
Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because
nobody could understand Chinese.
* "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING
TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A
CONTENTED CHAO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE SACRED CHAO
THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung
in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is
sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the
Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot
on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC
PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the
GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about
absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth
knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.
HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS.
If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it.
The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic
Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made
concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper
that is the level of distinction making.
With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality
through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The
ideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened
people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other
cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality
which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the
level of concept.
We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids
(concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group
of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and
relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is
in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle.
Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one
grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one
that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened
westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the
ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more
beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be
more True than any other.
DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some
particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like
female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of
female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically
arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow
wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the
ERISTIC ILLUSION.
The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition
relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T)
Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid,
and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick
another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and
disordered.
Reality is the original Rorschach.
Verily! So much for all that.
The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise
Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes.
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1)
The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia,
which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it,
"KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about
The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and
thought it to be a negative principle.
The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the
HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one,, it can be taken to
represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach
elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF
FIVES.
THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT.
-Patamunzo Lingananda
It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon
Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a
firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and
this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens
that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for
werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be
noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our
membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and
hobbies.
____________________________________
* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic
personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call
him Archangle Pythagoras.
[diagram of HODGE/PODGE TRANSFORMER deleted... DtC]
5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying "I
do not know! I do not know!"
HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BRUNSWICK SHRINE
In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within
this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed
Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time.
In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by
all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage
to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog
Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All.
It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five
times over, than shall the world come to an end:
IMPENDING DOOM
HAS ARRIVED
And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder
Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign
for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of
Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal
This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious
MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud
for These Five Days.
As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in
particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a
Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually
going.
___________________________________
* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which
Is
Real?
*
* *
* *
Do these 5 pebbles [note: they were pebbles,originally..try doing
ASCII pebbles -DtC] REALLY form a pentagon?
Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes.
Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is
a star.
An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one
is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and
disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed,
even so the concept of number 5.
The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in your mind
and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE
ARTIST.
Convictions cause convicts.
Can you chart the COURSE
to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART?
Hemlock? I never touch the stuff!
When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired
a split beaver magazine. You can imagine
my disappointment when,upon examination
of the photos with a microscope, I found
that all I could see was dots.
7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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